five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
