question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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