so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
