We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't deserve a penis
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
