Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
