I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
