Christians are straight up FREAKS
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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