After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
