if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
