Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
