i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
