Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
