I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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