So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
