i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
