it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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