OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
