Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize