...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
