More tranny stories later!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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