Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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