i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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