Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
