it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
PANTIES FOUND
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
