would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Couch. On fire.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
