North Korea, Best Korea!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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