ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
