benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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