She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
