I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
