dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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