I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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