I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
