Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
