she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
