I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize