My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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