Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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