i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
