She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
