Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
