the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
