"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
false alarm. still invincible.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
