I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
