Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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