Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
