I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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