I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Terrible idea I love it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
