who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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