First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
