well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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