this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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