bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
