I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize