If i come over, it means nothing
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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