It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
