Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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