An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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