ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
