There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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