I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
