similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
