All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
