Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
