Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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